Getting Out of Our Own Way

I don't know about you, but I often get in my own way. It’s magical though when I catch myself in the middle of this and realize I have the power to change. And it always involves letting go.

It’s common now to hear people talking about letting go. There is a lot of discourse about the benefits of getting rid of our excess stuff and cleaning out all those neglected dark corners. I am a minimalist at heart, and I’ve been doing this most of my life, long before Marie Kondo wrote her wonderful book on the magic of tidying up.

But purging the physical stuff is only one sliver of the solution. Where it gets tricky is letting go of the bigger things that are unconsciously controlling our lives—negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, and fears.

How do we let go of things we can’t see and that we aren’t even sure of where they came from?

It's a question I’ve explored for a long time. What I discovered is that there is no single or right answer. Each of us has a pile of these items keeping us from living our most inspired and joyous lives. The key is to be willing to bring to the surface what these are, no matter how painful or scary it may feel. To be with them, thank them for whatever they have helped us with, and then release them.

This takes persistence, patience, and an openness to feel what we may not want to, while knowing that on the other side of this is freedom.

One of my editing clients had a lot of fears, self-doubt, and anxiety coming up about her new project. I asked her to write one to two pages about what was in her way and how she could let it go. Her response was beautiful. Here is part of what she wrote:

“It’s just words on a page. If I can remember that when I sit down to write, perhaps I wouldn’t put so much pressure on myself. . . When I first thought about writing my story, I just wanted to get it out. Even if it wasn’t published, even if it was just for family, or just for me. When I received interest from an agent, that all changed. Suddenly, the pressure was immense. Now there’s a possibility of being published. Now there’s a timeline. I wonder if I can go back to the previous way of thinking while also keeping the offer in the back of my mind. That would be freeing. I would like to look at this story, not as something that NEEDS to be written, but something that I have the honor to write . . . . This is my proclamation that I AM good enough. And, even if I’m not, that’s okay, too. I am a writer because I write. All those doubts don’t matter. I just need to write. Because, after all, it’s just words on a page.”

We tend to cloud our lives with all of these stories, anxieties, pressures, and doubts that the mind is constructing. What if like those old, stained, forgotten items in our homes that we no longer need, we can see these dark clouds for what they are: an impediment to where we want to go and who we truly desire to be.

We can’t let new things into our lives with our hearts full of the old.

Right now, I am focused on letting go of some of my old conditioning, that only if I am physically healthy that I am good enough. That I need to be fully healthy to be happy. After living with this chronic illness for more than two decades, I am finally ready to let this one go. So, this is my proclamation to the world: I AM amazing just as I am. And I am super happy.

How are you getting in your own way? And what are you ready to let go of? Find answers to these and you can free yourself. You’re worth it.

With happy wishes for healing and letting go,